I'm completely off my game these days. I think that when something goes wrong, rather when something isn't right with your child, you can't concentrate on anything but that child. You can't concentrate on anything but solving that problem. You're stuck in a place that has you so upset, so petrified, that you can't give any thing to anywhere else because you're giving 100% to your baby. The size of the problem is relative. It doesn't matter what others think and whether or not you're obsessed with solutions is irrelevant.
I'm sort of obsessive on a regular day, so when I'm forced with being mama-bear like I'm shocked that the issue has gotten this far. I'm still friends with people from high school, people who knew me before children, and they aren't the least shocked when I need to flip my bitch switch.
Isaiah is particularly small for his age. He's boisterous and full of personality, but his size is sometimes a bit of a worry for me. He deals with things like the average child, but in some places he has a bit of difficulty. The day before he was born the OBGYN said he'd be a small baby. She said five pounds. (Yeah, right.)
Isaiah was born so small, and so frail-looking, that my heart hurt when I seen him. He came out quiet, not crying, barely awake, and was taken immediately to somewhere else. I seen him for just a minute. My vow to him was, and still is, I WILL PROTECT YOU ON THE OUTSIDE IF I CAN'T PROTECT YOU ON THE INSIDE.
So when I'm forced with a crazy predicament where people think I've lost my mind or people want to argue with me about what he is or isn't I get a little insane. I lose balance. I forget the little things like work and dinner and I absorb the details of whats happening with my baby.
I apologize for the lack of the blog. I was too focused, too crazy to write. I'm ok now. Until the next time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
WHAT FLIPPED THE SWITCH ON?
ReplyDeleteThat is what a good mommy does. You are intuned with your children. I am the same way. I will not fail him. I will fight anyone that gets in my way when, I feel something is wrong. I didn't being a new mom with Connor. The medical word FAILED ME!! It won't happen again. I don't care how crazy I may look. My children will thank me one day! I know you only want the best for him and we hate to see our kids struggle. Sometimes the struggle is a life lesson and others there is no need for it.
ReplyDeleteWith child number one I can imagine his size can be an issue, but he is full of life! He will over come that! He will do that by you giving him the tools he needs. You are a wonderful mom to your boys. You are not the only crazy mom that fights for what is right for your children! I am in the crazy boat with ya! Our kids will be something, they will be compasionate, respectful, and leaders. They will become this way by us mothers fighting for our children.
I agree with lovingmomoftwo. You and Babash are great MOMS! You both make me feel proud.
ReplyDeleteI agree with lovingmomoftwo. You and Babash are great MOMS and both of you make me proud.
ReplyDelete