My family is in town. It feels like I've had someone else in my house for WEEKS on end. I guess in a way, I have. My brother visited during Christmas, my sister and my niece are here now, and soon my dad will be here. The house is a mess. The TV is super loud. The kitchen is constantly buzzing. One mojito down--two more to go.
Isaiah threw a tantrum at Portland's Children's Museum today. It isn't that he doesn't throw tantrums. He is five. Of course Isaiah throws tantrums. Though since my parents have moved to town, Isaiah's tantrums have been considerably worse. When we visit in Hawaii, it was ok for the grandparents to baby the children. In fact, it was wanted. Since they've moved to town, however, it is a different story. Their intrusion is awkward. They baby Isaiah. They hold him when I scold him. They call me mean mommy. Clearly, some boundaries need to be set.
It is a different story when my sister is in town. We share the same parenting beliefs. We believe in discipline. We strive for manners. Throughout the house you'll hear, "Say please. Say thank you. Repeat after me. Yes Mommy. Yes Aunty. Don't tell me to calm down. Time out!." We say them numerous times a day. We will not be outnumbered by the children. Though, we are.
Grandparents are meant to spoil. They are the official NO SPANKING ZONE. They comfort. They talk. They stick up for the little ones. They are the biggest, most annoying intrusion. Hands down. No comparison. They tell you how to parent. They "advise." They criticise. They are not always right, but they beg to differ.
Though I complain. Though I feel intruded upon. Though I know I am the parent and even though I am the boss, I should feel loved. I know how they feel about our children--my children. I know my boys, my niece, are safe in the event that I/we take the long journey alone. I know they are loved.
The house is a mess. The TV is loud. They intrude. They cross boundaries. They are irritating and everyone will agree. But, they are a fantastic intrusion. They are wonderful. They are family.
Payback’s a bitch and it just started! Grandma did it when you were growing up, so now it’s our turn to do the same. I think Grandparents do it because it is time to payback for all the things that the children had done when they were growing up.
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